Here we go.
The dawn of a new age. The birthing of something beautiful.
They say that sometimes things fall apart so that better things can come together.
Here’s to hoping that they’re right. Whoever “they” are, anyways. Not that my life is in total shambles right now – though it’s definitely not what I would call ideal. I mean yeah, I’ve got a loving boyfriend, a roof over our (and our fur children’s) heads, a job with benefits, a working vehicle, food in the house…but sometimes anxiety and those little voices in your head whisper things that aren’t very kind.
Like how even though you’re making decent money, you’ve got a lot of loans to pay off – and it’s making it difficult to afford paying normal bills like rent, or even for food. Anxiety has a way of cranking all of your worries and fears and stressors up to 10…and then that’s when the spiral happens. When, in your head, everything falls apart.
Here’s something for everyone of my anxiety-dealing friends out there today –
Let. That. Shit. Go.
Get out of your head. Stay out of your head. I know you know what the beginning of that spiral feels like. It’s like when you were a kid, and you’d creep up to the edge of the big swirly slide on the playground – or when you’re on a rollercoaster and the machine ticks as it inches closer to the top before it sends you speeding down the track at several miles an hour.
That’s what it feels like. To experience the start of an anxiety or panic attack. You feel it happening. You know it’s going to happen. But sometimes…sometimes you’re strapped in too tight and there’s no emergency brake to let you get off. Sometimes you see it but you’re too far in you head to see it and grab for it.
I want to work towards finding that E-brake. And being able to reach and grab for it more consistently. Because we all know that yes, the feeling of anger and fear and rage right before an attack is real. And we know that we feel those things before an attack because we don’t want to be feeling those feelings – and so we get angry with ourselves for doing so. But. We also know that while it’s ok to accept that we feel a certain way, it’s important that we are able to yank on that E-brake HARD.
Here’s to letting the little shit go. The things that push your stress and anxiety up towards its limit. The things you panic about and worry over even though you already know that everything is going to be fine. (just because, what if it isn’t fine? your brain tells you…)
Here’s to accepting those triggers, and learning to cope with them in a healthy way.
Here’s to letting go.